


Believe In Your Silent Own Way

by Captain_Custos



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Could also be Stydia, Could be Sterek if you squint and tilt your head to the side, Depression, Feels, Giving Up, Human Sacrifice, Multi, Panic Attacks, Sacrifice, Sort of suicidal, Stilinski Family Feels, Talia is the moon, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 06:30:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/923103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Custos/pseuds/Captain_Custos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Its only a temporary situation. </p><p>But Stiles still finds himself standing on a beach, in between life and death, hoping to buy some time, meeting the only person in the world who could save him.</p><p>Trouble is, he still wants to save everyone else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Believe In Your Silent Own Way

**Author's Note:**

> So! First fic here, wish me luck!
> 
> Title comes from Ships in the Night- Mat Kearny http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCkfTCjF8SM  
> the original phrase though means two people who share a meaningful and deep, but short connection.
> 
> Mamas dress  
> http://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/7/optimized/8344557_fpx.tif?wid=550&qlt=90,0&layer=comp&op_sharpen=0&resMode=bicub&op_usm=0.7,1.0,0.5,0&fmt=jpeg
> 
> Mama Herself- Holly Marie Combs

Its only a temporary situation. 

A quick dip into the other side, wading through the ice cold waters and finding himself in the space between life and what ever it is that comes after. a temporary situation, created for a temporary solution. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he can hear Lydia's voice shaking as she counts the seconds hes been in the ice on the stop watch, making sure hes not under to long. He can hear Allison, voice steadier, arms pressing into his shoulders, counting the beats of his heart. They are far away whispers now.

Logically he knows his body is somewhere in a tank in Deatons office.Lydia and Allison are holding him down, Scott pacing nervously around him on the phone with Isaac. he's only supposed to be here for minutes. a temporary death, to remove the title of Guardian from his father, making him ineligible for sacrifice. He just needs to give Isaac and Derek just a little more time. After all,he thinks, how can you be a Guardians when your children are dead.

God he hopes his father never finds out why Jennifer delays his murder. 

He’s washed up on the shore of a beach, a white sand bar in the middle on an endless indigo ocean. the sky is a deep bruising purple, and the moon is a massive eye in its center, surrounded by more stars than Stiles has ever seen. There's no wind, though there are waves spreading across the horizon. Not a single gull in sight, no ships or shells or even drift wood. Just blue sea, purple sky and white sand. And that heavy full moon.

"Typical, even in the land of the undead, can't escape a full moon" how the hell is he going to pass 2 minutes here? Build a freaking sand castle?

"Especially not when it defines you"

that voice

that voice

of course

stiles turns slowly, grubby soles of his bare feet grinding through the sand, shoulders hunched high against a wind that he's imagining. Normally he would have layer of plaid collar hiding him, but he’d gone into the bath barefoot in just jeans and a cotton t-shirt. There is nothing to protect him.

His mother is beautiful

She always was, but here, she looks like the mother he remembers seeing in pictures, standing on the beach, the hem of her dress trailing in the sand. Her skin is as pale as his, and covered in moles, like his. Her hair is dark like his is dark, and its finally long again. It was the curtain that would fall over him when she bent to hug him and protect him from the world in his youth. By the time she had died, it had all been taken from her. She had just been a frail thing in a hospital bed.

"My little boy" She holds out her pale arms to him, becoming with thin fingers. The fingers of a seamstress she used to say, though she couldn't sew a stitch. "you've worked so hard, its time to rest now, you’re so tired"

He was

God he was tired

So achingly tired he felt it in his bones, every muscle knotted and sore from constant tension, every sense straining in fear. He stepped forward

"I tried mommy. I really tried." Its a whisper, words that don't reach her and her face doesn't move an inch. He’s too used to speaking around wolves. He can give that up now. Somewhere else he hears Allison's voice, its growing louder, higher, buts harder for him to hear. Wind is finally picking up around him, caring her voice across the waves.

"Come here little Przemysł, mommy will make it better"

She was smiling at him, her face tight and controlled, but with all the warmth it could muster. Like a mother who had had to watch her child suffering over and over, until he could suffer no more. Till he was here, standing on a beach. 

"I'm so sorry mom" he was choking back on the tickle in his throat, the tightness behind his eyes, the rush of heat in his face before tears "I had to do it i had to help-"

“I know. I know you did. But its over now. It’s time to rest. Come one Stiles. Its time to sleep"

He stopped. Just in front of him was a wash of sea, cutting through the beach, carving the little island in two. His side of the beach.

 

And hers.

 

"If I cross that stream..." he trailed of, staring down at the water. Despite the flow of it, its surface was clear and glassy. Clear enough for a reflection.

He looked so tired. His hair was straggly and spiky with grease, his eyes sunken and bruised looking. His face was gaunt, skin a yellowed papery shade of flaking paint. He could see muscles that weren't there a year ago, muscles that only came from fighting and running, ones he shouldn't have. There was a scar on his mouth, just below his lip, the stinging split of it from when Gerard punched him echoing back till it rang in his teeth. Smaller ones spread along his arms, ones he couldn't even remember getting. A press of broken glass her, the scrape of torn metal there.

He looked old

"I can't go back can I?"

"You could. If you wanted to" she lowered her arms and stared at him with wide, watery eyes. 

"I have people who rely on me. I can't leave"

" If you don't leave now Przemysł, you never will"

"They need me"

"its killing you. My sweet boy, its killing you. If you leave now, I promise it will not be the last time we meet like this, not by a long shot." She wrapped her arms around her quaking body, staring at him like he was a stranger, scary and unpredictable.

"But the pack-"

"Is broken. Scott is lost, Boyd and Erica are dead, Cora is dying and Derek..." she turned her face upwards to the moon.

"If Talia could see what has happened to him, where life has lead him, ... she would weep". There were tears on her face, glittering and silent. Stiles turned to glance at the moon, its warmth spreading like the sun, removing the seas chill. Talia Hale watching quietly 

"He can't lose someone else. Hes just starting to trust me. Mom please. He may not like me, but it will still hurt. You were friends with Talia once, would you want to do that to him"

She smiled at him, eye crinkling around the edges. It was the way she would smile when he got into trouble, when he did well on tests, when he said I love you. 

"You care"

"Of course I care. I'm a bleeding heart when I need to be. Derek- he's... we're the same. If I lose dad, that's what I'll become"

"You can't save everyone." she stepped forward this time. her feet were blue with cold where they tread soundlessly on the sand. She was wearing the same thing she had worn when Stiles was diagnosed. He remembers it so clearly, sitting on her lap, hiding in her hair and counting the roses on her dress.

"You can't save Derek Hale, no matter how much he trusts you"

“I can try. I can do things they can't do. I can be the spark like Deaton said. I can save dad"

"We all have a little spark stiles, but sometimes that spark dies out before it can become a flame.Sometimes it burns so bright, that it disappears." She reached for him as if to brush her fingers along his cheeks. Her hand stopped inches from his face, her toes nearly at the waters edge. He must have moved while they had been talking. His toes were now cold and wet at the edge of the stream.

"You always burned so brightly Przemysł"

He collapsed. knees hitting the sand with a soft crunch, hands reaching forward to steady himself as the grains dug into his fingernails. it wasn't a panic attack, not nearly. he was still breathing, his mind was clear, muscles strong. 

But it was so heavy.

Everything was so heavy

The weight of secrets, and sleepless nights and that damn moon, bearing down on him like a summer sun.

"Stiles," She crouched in front of him, hands reaching out across the water "don't you want to sleep"

“I can't. I can't sleep. I haven't slept for months. I can't start now"

There was a beeping noise in the back of head now. Soft and steady, and with it the feeling on hands on his shoulders. Hands pulling him up.

Slowly his feet slid back under him 

"If I go to sleep now, they'll die"

He pushed himself up

"Dad will die."

Dusted the sand of his jeans

"It'll kill him and I won’t be able to save him" he took a shuddering breath “I won’t be there to save him”

He stared down at her, still crouched in the sand, looking up at him with such awe it made him feel sick

"I can't sleep mom, not yet"

She smiled at him, Face glowing in the moon that shone so brightly on his back

“I think Talia would have liked you very much”

 

 

"STILES!" Lydia's martin, voice of an angel.  
.  
He was lying on the floor of Deatons surgery, Lydia crouched above him, Scott and Allison looking at him like he was some sort of alien. 

"YOU IDIOT!"

"What?" his tongue felt heavy in his mouth. Actually his everything felt heavy. He tried to sit but his muscles wouldn't move.

"What happened?"

"You died! Thats what happened. You freaking died" Scott flinched when they made eye contact, nodding mutely. Oh. 

"Wasn't that the plan?" Oh yeah, the plan, leaking back into his brain.

"For 2 minutes maybe, not 15! You shouldn't even be alive right now. You should be a vegetable, completely brain dead!" 

“Technically that would still be alive.” She hit him. Hard. With a stopwatch.

“Not funny!”

"Lydia, its not that i don't appreciate the worry, but your words are like tiny little needles, so could we try this maybe a half volume?"

Lydia was just about to start of again when Allison's phone dinged to say she had a text.

"Its Isaac, they found the place. Scott and i have to-" she glanced at Stiles and Lydia, and then at Scott. He nodded to her at the same time Stiles did. Quietly they picked there way out of the surgery, leaving Stiles and a still fuming Lydia on the floor. She hoisted him up to rest against the wall, arms still loosely gripping his wrists, as if she was scared he might drift away again.

"I'm sorry Lydia"

"Don't"

"Lydia-"

"I couldn't even scream. Did you know that. What kind of a banshee am I. You were dead, and I couldn't even move"

"Lyd-"

"This town is fucked. I'm a 'wailing woman', half my friends are werewolves, my best friend is a hunter,Ii have to work with the man who spent half a year slowly destroying my mind, and now this I cant... Stiles sometimes your the only stable thing there is here. I can't lose that" she huffed out a pained laugh “who else will I call when the bodies start piling up again?”

"I know, I know its why I came back its just-"

"Came back?"

"Yeah, came back"

"From where? The Pearly Gates?" Lydia's eyebrows were raised, mouth twisted to the side. Ever the scientist.

"I was on a beach." She snorted and rolled her eyes "A beach on the full moon. It was beautiful Lydia"

"So you almost quit on us because you where having some sort of ice induced beach holiday." He could feel her getting angry again, fingers tightening on his arms as her teeth ground together.

"My mom was there." The effect was instant. Her eyes widened, fingers loosened as she gasped sharply but quietly, entire body flinching.

"She wanted me to stay Lydia. She wanted me to sleep. She was standing there, just like she used to stand at my bedroom door, and she wanted me to stay." And now there were tears rolling down his face, getting lost in the water still dripping from his hair onto his cheeks.

"I said no." and now panic was gripping him, holding fast to his insides and tightening as his lungs started to tighten, the world closing in on him. "I said no, oh god, I left her there and I said no to her. oh god Lydia I can't, I have to go back I have to Lydia please, I'm tired, I'm so tired" He kept trying to take heaving sobs, but is lungs fought back, making breathing impossible.

And then Lydia kissed him

Lydia martin

Lydia freaking martin

granted it did nothing to relax him in the slightest but still

Lydia martin

"Stiles! Calm, breath, think happy thoughts. They know where your dad is, they're getting him right now, you’re going to be fine." His breathing started to deepen, air returning to his lungs. He kept crying though, faintly till his eyes felt raw.

"I'm so tired of this Lydia. I'm so tired. I can't take it anymore, its all to much"

"You don't have to keep at it by yourself stiles. You’re not in it alone anymore. I'm just at freaked as you are, but Stiles, You have to stop taking it all on yourself"

"What if I don't make it. What if I burn out"

"You'll make it Stiles. You will. We'll be there. You and me, we'll whip this pack into shape. Trust me. We'll make it"

They stayed there till Derek called, clinging to each other like children. Scott's mom was safe but the alpha pack had him. The Darach was injured but still out there. Chris in a bad way, but still alive.

The Sheriff was alive.

His dad was alive.

Stiles made sure to drain out the ice water before he left the surgery to go get him.

**Author's Note:**

> Stiles name Przemysł is a polish name meaning trick or stratagem, which I think is pretty damn fitting for Stiles. The sand island, though I loathe to admit it, is based off a scene from At Worlds End . Well, not based off it, but its the image I had in mind for it.
> 
> This story is unbetad, so i'm sorry if its a mess.  
> I may draw something for this in the future, I'm not sure yet
> 
> Let me know what you think!


End file.
